I've been at "it" again.

[deanl]

Hey there.

GORDON BENNIT!

"as soon as you put your work into the public arena it is open to criticism, whether it be bad or good. If you can't handle that without being defensive then don't post your creative output onto an internet message board."

I'm always posting examples of my work. Of course I'm open to criticism. That's the whole reason I do it.

I asked you to name THIRTEEN examples. I was taking the **** ... Do you honestly think I was expecting you to come back with 13 examples of this beggining???????

I have no problem with these things I'm posting being "clean cut" or "generic". I have no intention of making these feature scripts. They're all learning exorcises for me. (I have a feature script thats actually called "Generic Crime Story" I feel the more I write the better I get. I have no problem with them not being liked. LOL. I can live with that.

"why not try to establish the Cameron character as the protagonist then get the trio to kill him off during the fight (for example in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly)"

?????? Havent you just spent to posts telling me to be original???

Anyway.. Thanks for reading it. I would rather people read it and give a "bad" review than not giving any comments at all.

Despin out.

[Joker to the Thief]

Good point (i just love TGTB&TU, can't wait for them to remake it as a german opera set in outer space)

If your writing stuff to learn how to do it, then go for it.

Was it you who wrote the head-in-a-bag new-bloke-in-town script, because that was interesting.

When your writing have you thought about your character's back story at all?

Also one thing i notice reading different peoples scripts on this message board is that not many people use soft detail (i think thats what it's called)

For example instead of;

EXT. HOUSE - DAY
A car sits in the drive way.

You could use;

EXT. HOUSE - DAY
A shiny, fire red sports sits on a brick paved drive way.

Can work wonders in getting a script ok'ed.


JTTT

[emjen]

about that soft detail...

I'm having much difficulties with that. Use too much of it; your script gets OVER-DESCRIPTIONED, write too little of it and the mood you're trying to tell might not get across.

So basically, what I have found out for myself, or at least what I think is best, is with every new scene you're you're writing, write a quick moody description first. Just one, maybe two sentences.

If you do this:

EXT. STREET IN CITY BLOCK - DAY

A handsome lepricon walks along the curb, between the huge buildings and flats in the city.

- what does this tell you? A handsome lepricon walks in a city, right? The way he walks isn't explained, (doesnt really need to either) but the mood in the city block isnt explained neither. So I tend to do this if i want a 'darker' mood:

EXT. STREET IN CITY BLOCK - DAY

A handsome lepricon walks along the quiet curb, between the huge buildings and flats casting long shadows over the grim street.

I'm still having difficulties, and I think it's worth some discussion wether you want to do it or not, and how to do it.

[GREATwarEAGLE]

This is a common obstacle every beginning writer encounters. It's a simple matter of necessity. If it's necessary to give vivid detail, if it's essential, then write it.

If it's not - if you're just showing off your use of a thesaurus, filling in the gaps, creating a diversion for what you really know to be a weak script - details won't solve the problem. And they'll soon draw attention to themselves as superficial gloss.

Let's put it this way - a well written script will still stand strong even if all the adjectives and adverbs are removed.

perhaps this should be a different thread. sorry despin